Serious Movie Lover

There Are (Too) Many Copies

By / Sunday, December 27, 2009 / Category: Review / 2 comments
Esai Morales and Eric Stolz in Caprica.

Esai Morales and Eric Stolz in Caprica.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: CAPRICA (2009/DVD) & BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN (2009/DVD)  The legions of Battlestar Galactica fans heartsick over the farewell of their fave frakkin’ show ever were somewhat assuaged by the announcement earlier this year that two BSG related films were to be released directly to DVD within a few months of each other. The first released, Caprica, a prequel taking place 50 years prior to the series, follows The Most Famous Scientist On The Planet (played with extra serious science by the Mask kid) as he creates the first Cylon as a way to give life to his dead teenage daughter’s, uh, personality (?), which lives happily online in an awesomely leathery (read: boob-packed) sex ‘n’ violence virtual world she created. If I had died but happily lived on in MY OWN awesomely leathery (read: boob-packed) sex ‘n’ violence virtual world and my dad yanked ME, er, my few gigs of personality, anyway, outta there to live in a cold and clumsy robot shell, I would so totally run away. AND NEVER WOULD I COME BACK!

Hey! Kid from Mask doin' Aiiit!

Hey! Kid from Mask doin' Aiiit!

At the same time, Admiral William Adama’s pops, Joseph, is caught in an intrigue of his own with a career lawyering for mobsters in a subplot that dovetails nicely with The Most Famous Scientist On The Planet’s creepy metal doll factory. Despite the already-dated virtual reality trappings for much of the action here, this is a satisfying story, well acted and presented, that doesn’t need to rely on the trademark BSG doc style or fall back on any familiar cast members to keep long time fans from tuning out. If you’re slightly put off by the open-ended finale, don’t fret—this movie serves as a pilot for the upcoming SyFy Channel Caprica series. I for one will be tuning in.

battlestar_galactica_the_plan

Aw, it feels good to be back. And boring.

Unfortunately the other BSG feature-length DVD, the Edward James Olmos-helmed The Plan, plays like a disjointed BSG greatest hits clip show with the addition of too many unnecessary, long, and often just plain boring new scenes (no, adding naked extras [as in boobs-out bartenders, lords 'n' ladies in a co-ed shower, etc.] does not make anything less boring) serving only to pad the thing out to feature length—a cash-in that will only frustrate the casual or obsessed fan. Detailing the whole BSG story from the Cylons point of view, The Plan sticks mostly to following the devious underground/behind-the-scenes Machiavellian campaigns initiated and conducted by two John Cavils/Cylon Model #1s (Dean Stockwell) across the entire series, showing that he was mostly responsible for the CH (Cylon Holocaust, nerd!) while the other “models” had their share of doubts. 

Wait, this should be sexy, right?

Wait, this should be sexy, right?

Tack on a cringeworthy ending right out of a bad ’50s sci-fi opera and what you’re left with is a rare miss in the BSG canon—not holding up as its own story, a compelling action yarn, or even a satisfying plothole-filler that might tie up loose ends for the brand’s legion of loyal fans. Minus one very dark series-appropriate moment approx. 110 minutes in (nothing newsworthy, mind you, but *slightly* shocking), it’s what BSG never was: Bo. Ring. Instead of buying The Plan, go back a couple seasons and pick up the 2007 BSG pre-third season feature-length episode Razor DVD, to see it done right. Although you probably already have it, huh, nerd? (Oh, and my misinformed GQ/Maxim-reading supervisor at work was sorely disappointed in The Plan‘s lack of Cylon boobies.)

My Grades: Caprica: B,  The Plan: D
My “supe” from work’s grade:  The Plan: F

*This review was brought to you by the letter “B” followed closely by the world famous “ooby.”

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2 Responses to “There Are (Too) Many Copies”

  1. Kimberly says:

    In the future, everyone wears their racerback tank tops backward. Crazy.

  2. Richie says:

    I just listened to the first half of the show on my way to class tgohnit, so forgive me if I say something that you touch on later in the show. I do think that the Nielson rating system is very outdated and will probably not exist in its current form ten years from now. I think that what we are heading toward is a society that gets all of its television more or less from the internet.I make this argument due to the fact that almost every show that is aired on network television is available on Hulu or on the network’s website within days of its original airing. And I think that the DVR has changed the way millions of us watch television. I think that eventually all television networks will have their programming on demand , a lot like Netflix. The network will make a program available at a certain time on a certain day and you’ll be able to watch it whenever and however often that you want for a period of time.I also think that the fact that a show makes money on dvd will be a thing of the past pretty soon as well. I recently called Netflix to ask them why they don’t have any episodes of Star Trek available to watch instantly. I was told not to worry about it because within two years their entire library will be available to watch instantly and that they will no longer offer dvd’s by mail. Could it be that the dvd will finally die out and make the digital download the ONLY way that we can watch movies? Could be.Anyway, guys, I love your show. Keep it up. I’ve been listening for a while but I’ve just started writing in. I plan to do so more often in the future.Sincerly,Shawn in Birmingham, AL

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