Lets Talk About…Transsiberian
TRANSSIBERIAN (2008/DVD)
"Ha! That mean porter lady sure was right about those Russian Lolcats."
From: Brian McClelland
To: Kimberly Faulhaber
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 2009
Subject: Transsiberian, or Never Ever Ever Go To Russia
Hi Kimberly!
Well, I finally saw Transsiberian, and you know what? It’s pretty scary. And by that I mean Russia!* For starters, their manky trains appear to pre-date The Great War, which is just unsafe, and are chock full of shady weirdos like the hot drug smuggler/rapist Spanish dude and his runaway American teenager girlfriend who share the sleeping cabin with our sorta happily married do-gooder American heroes played by Woody Harrelson and Emily Mortimer with creepy and altogether unfavorable results, like having gross sex right in front of you and then stashing their drugs in your bags and then trying the raping on you. Total dicks!
Worst. Cabin mates. Ever.
But forget them—the scariest thing in Russia looks to be their service industry, making what appears to be a pretty horrible place for even for not-so-ugly Americans to visit even worse. A simple polite request for, um, something—I can’t recall exactly what it was for, but it was a reasonable, polite request—makes the train porters shouting mad! No, thank you. (I hope you noticed the Thank You.) I’m placing Russia near the top of my list of Places I Will Never Ever Visit, Even If Only to Use Their Bathroom, right behind China, India, and Mexico. (Admittedly, reading this list makes me hungry.) (And, just so you know, Gainesville, FL is also on this list, and does not whatsoever have the same effect.)
After recently enjoying Harrelson’s splendidly broad takes on two very silly roles in Zombieland and 2012, his sweet and earnest performance here as a churchy, gay-for-trains, golly shucks enthusiastic Midwesterner was a pleasant surprise—fully realized and right on the ruble. The more complex role of the good wife who we slowly discover has a history as a bad girl—a role that peels off a few layers in the third act, going to interesting and unexpected places—is handled masterfully by Mortimer, who really shines here. Lovely AND amazing. And a little badass!
Anyway, in spite of a couple of overused genre devices and plot developments, I thought this film was expertly executed by director/co-screenwriter Brad Anderson—mostly known for helming indies like 1998’s Next Stop Wonderland and 2004’s The Machinist, but paying the bills lately by directing TV episodes for shows like Fringe and The Wire—who, along with co-screenwriter Will Conroy, built up what could have been a hackneyed B-movie into a helluva seat-edge, tension-building thriller. My Grade: A
Emily Mortimer and a bag full of Russian Dolls. Apparently the WORST KIND OF DOLL EVER.
Thoughts?
Kisses-
brian
PS, this.
From: Kimberly Faulhaber
To: Brian McClelland
Date: Thu, 14 Jan 2009
Subject: In America, You Take the Train. In Russia, Train Takes You!
Brian—
Yes! I also saw Transsiberian, coincidentally, at the exact same time you did. I remember reading an Ebert review of this months ago and it sounded right up my alley. This contains elements of a genre that I never tire of (SPOILER ALERT)—good-ish girl kills boy, then has to figure out how to get away with it. I may or may not be somewhat obsessed with this idea and have spent an insomniac night or two working out the deets. It’s important to be prepared for any scenario. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yes. Who knew it was as easy as traveling to Eastern Europe to murder said boy? Apparently there are bodies lying all over the Russian countryside, covered in a light dusting of snow.
I felt very unsettled and confused throughout the first hour of this movie—just like our heros, weary travelers Mortimer and Harrelson. I was grinding my teeth as they made their way through claustrophobic train cars entirely covered in a not-so-thin layer of grime or soot. There was general menace everywhere—even Russian grannies on the bus looked like they might eat you and your puppy. Poor VisitRussia.com—you have your work cut out for you. I never would have pegged Brad Anderson as the director—though I suppose Next Stop Wonderland (one of my all-time faves) has some of the same melancholy, misanthropic threads.
And though, as with most movies of this genre, the plot gets sillier and more nonsensical as the energy and tension builds, Anderson wound together such an engaging ride that you barely notice the unraveling plot strings. My only eye-rolls arrived during the planted matryoshka doll scenes. The audience already guessed that the bad, soon-to-be-dead guy had stuffed Mortimer’s suitcase with dolls made of heroin—a flashback to show it actually happening was completely unnecessary and kind of condescending. Make us work for it, please! Oh man, and the shot of the doll peeking out of the backpack and practically staring at Kingsley! Hee. I wonder if this plot point was handled this way originally or added later, maybe post-test audience.
Ben Kingsley IS Transsiberian. (Not really.)
We should mention Ben Kingsley’s strong performance as a jaded Russian narcotics cop with a henchman straight out of Eastern Promises. He joins Harrelson and Mortimer for part of their journey and offers them counsel…until he reveals his true motivations. Kingsley has played so many sociopaths lately that I watched Elegy a few weeks ago (based on a Phillip Roth novel—consider yourself warned) to remind myself that he is probably a very nice man who wouldn’t cut me up as soon as look at me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 Serious Movie faces, I give this movie 
Smell ya later,
Kimberly
*We here at SML.com realize that the Russia depicted in Transsiberian is not necessarily an accurate representation. (But we choose to believe it anyway. Sorry, Russia—you have just now been served. Score now: FREEDOM LOVE. Now go make some fashion!)
Be the first to reply